la vie.

I know…I know…I know…

Fraykin Eedgit, Yeah?

well here is the rub. like i said i like hanging out with you but realize that i don’t go out often, not with anyone, i mostly stay home. and i rarely if ever go out during the week. its not that i am avoiding you or you are a pity case or something its just that i cant make time to see everyone i’d like to all the time. and i do have other plans and obligations sometimes so i cant always drop whatever i’m doing and hang out, sorry.

later
-toast

Ouch. That’s a diss. But still in that I am a pussy and don’t want to miss any chances of getting any when that lonely hour sneaks up on me, kind of pussy…right? He might as well have signed the note -Big Pussy Loser. (I hate that word but it seems so appropriate in this circumstance.)

A sad perpetual pattern as it were, in my life. Too many Pussy’s, man-gina’s, prick-less wonders…Oh the list could go on and on. But I do hate the idea of emasculating men by describing them as a missing or failing sex organ; as if somehow they’re manhood is defined by what they hold in their jeans. So I shall refrain. To my male readers, i apologize deeply if this offended you.

I’m not bitter and it was still a pussy move.

The old T is coming back and she is ornery as hell…she would have never put up with an ounce of disinterest from any man five years ago, because she always new there were plenty of fish in the sea and life was too short to spin her wheels over men who don’t put her on their priority list…yet today she wrote the most pathetic letter apologizing for what she should have said one FULL year ago.

She would have never made excuses for a man who showed a lack of interest for her…she’d wash her hands clean and air- dry them whilst running briskly and far from this artificer of wills.

Even though it was he who asked me on a road trip a couple of weeks ago, I feel I have had a head on collision with a full-blown Diss…

no matter how you cut it up, slice it into quarters or tie it with a pretty bow. Its a pussy move, like many pussy moves men make and I think I have finally decided to walk away without ever looking back. (and if I do, I certainly won’t blog about it anymore)

Even though this guy is—who he is, he needs some work. We all do, God knows I need to improve on a “few” things…but I refuse to sell myself out the way I have for the past year over someone who may have loved me once but wants nothing to do with me now.

I am not making excuses…I, on one hand am no fool, but I can get caught up a little…honestly, he’s not a bad guy, but right now, the more I ignore my convictions the less of me there will be to hold to some admirable standard that I have claimed as my own…the less of me there will be to honor what it is that I deserve and receive from someone who wants to give it. Yes, he may be busy, yes he may be sincere, yes he may have other obligations…but not if he’s into me. Period.

I like to keep it real simple, don’t read into anything, take what is being said for face value and try not to over think actions vs. words. I am a strong believer of taking what men say for face value, listening for clues that don’t add up, but always hear what they are saying and take it as truth. There’s no time to play silly guessing games or fantasize about what he’s REALLY saying.

When he tells you he can’t make it to your friends’ wedding that you and he had been planning to go to for over a month because his buddies are in town—last minute; it doesn’t mean that he is selfless and sacrificing his “fun” with you for the people in his life that he honors…it means he’s a prick who wanted to celebrate the 420 holiday and bullocks to your friends wedding, he’ll suffer the consequences later…

No over analyzing.

No Reading into shit.

It’s important to take men at face value if they tell you who they are, listen!

If they say that they are a dick they probably are,

If they tell you they are no good to anyone right now—they really aren’t.

if they tell you that they are no good—they are no good.

This is no time to over aggrandize their feelings for you…

”his self-deprecation is so sexy look how vulnerable he is. *sigh* how cute, he just needs my warm bosom to rest upon as I comfort him and caress all his insecurities away…”

…Yeah…NO.

There is ABSOLUTELY no room to read-minds or flit, quixotically about how much pressure he’s under and how he just needs time and your thoughtful, selfless understanding.

BULLOCKS!

I mean when we were together last night it really got deep. He told me how he couldn’t wait to do this again but next time it should be much more romantic.

Yeah, and it was probably after you had hot, sweaty, monkey love…When a man doesn’t specify an exact day or time it’s just“post- coital-minutiae”. Look, don’t get me wrong, I ‘m not trying to shit on the parade-believe me. I want to trust my “intuition” and believe

that he loves me, but he just doesn’t quite know how and I can teach him how to love again…

but the reality is, no time is worth wasting spinning your wheels when hes not spinning his wheels over you.

but i think I’ll still go on that road trip with him though, I kind of need a life.

C’est la Vie…  SAY IT!!

Party on Y’all!

~ by Timbre on April 28, 2008.